Current mood:

numb

Home finally
Its taken me this long to feel good enough to type. I got home over an hour ago. If last nite was awful, tonite was a hundred times worse. I don't know where to start.

I got there at five, waved bye to Kathy, played with Linney some. The TV was acting up so we had dinner early. I made some raviolis with pasta sauce and it was good, but when I was taking Linney's plate I thought I felt something touch me and it made me jump, and the bowl spilled onto Linney's shoulder. She had pasta sauce in her hair. She asked for a bath, which was fine, but I had not given her a bath before. I was a little uncomfortable just because I wasn't familiar with the temp settings on the tub, and I didn't know how Linney's mom and dad would feel about it, but Linney kept pleading with me to stay with her for the bath. So I ran the water and helped her into the tub.

This string came out of the faucet as the tub filled up. It made Linney nervous. I tried to tug on it and pull it all the way out, but it must have been caught on something inside the pipes. It just dangled from the faucet and floated on the water. Some of the pasta sauce had gotten in Linney's hair, so I rinsed it out a little. There wasn't any soap in the guest bath, so I went into the Ellisons bedroom to borrow from their master bath.

That's when Linney started SCREAMING. I have never been so chilled to the bone before hearing her tonight. It was horrible, hearing her scream. I turned and ran back to her as fast as I could, and when I got back she was hanging onto the edge of the tub trying to get out, and the string was wrapped around her leg. I yanked and yanked at it again but it wouldn't budge, and Linney kept screaming Get it off get it off, and so I started to try and unwind it from her leg but the shampoo in the water or something had made it slippery and I started crying and then suddenly the string went slack and I tore Linney away. She had a set of marks on her like stripes, where the string had cut into her skin. Later when I went back with a pair of scissors the string was gone and the water had drained away.

We spent the rest of the night in the living room on the couch, piled under two blankets and pillows from the Ellisons bed. Linney eventually fell asleep, but I was so worried about her and confused about what happened, I was a nervous wreck. At around 9pm one of the PC's started beeping like crazy. I got up to check on it. An alert had popped up, it said . Like that. Then, the power cut out and back on again. Only, some of the lights didn't come on. Just a light from down the hall.

In the hall it was easier to see, but I took a wrong turn on my way back...The tiny hall and door that leads to the garage was not where I thought it was. Instead I found a set of stairs. Like real stairs. Going up. And it smelled like cake, like right out of the oven. I felt so lost and strange, I can't explain it. Except...I didn't think the house had a second story. Its too hard to see from outside. I finally found a way into the kitchen and from there went back to Linney who was still asleep.

It got real cold after that....

When the Ellisons got home I told them about the bath and the other problems but I didn't mention the stairs. Then I told them I couldn't babysit anymore. I think I used schoolwork as an excuse. They said they understood but I could tell they were depressed about it. I'm sorry but I just can't keep doing it. Well, Mrs Ellison asked me to please just make it for one more nite and then they would get a new sitter over the weekend to start on Monday. She paid me in advance for tomorrow, too. I didn't want to say yes, I don't want to go back, but I felt so bad for leaving them on such short notice, and really what if its just me being a spazz? :( Like I'm freaking myself out or something.

Anyway, I told Mrs Ellison yes.

One more nite. I can do this. I will come back and tell you about the final five hours sitting for Linney in that house, and come Friday I will talk about something new like my friends Dawn and Kim, or how I love Starbucks strawberry cream frapps, or whatever. Just to keep me in the habit of writing here. I think I've been pretty good about it anyway, I sort of get on and start typing automatically before I go to bed.

Ok. Ok.
I wish I wasn't so scared of going back.
I feel so empty...

Danielle